Conversational Hypnosis: Establishing Rapport with Pacing
Conversational hypnosis is all about getting your way. Who does not want to get their way and be in control of situations? Being in control gives you power and that leads to getting what you want.
The most important aspect of conversational hypnosis is learning the art of developing rapport with another person. Rapport is the ability to be “in tune” with someone subconsciously. It is important to establish rapport because rapport will help you gain a sense of trust with the other person. Rapport will allow you to persuade and control to ultimately get your way.
Seventy percent of a “conversation” occurs without words. You can convey a lot with body language, facial expression, and hand gestures. There are different techniques to use while interacting with someone. Both verbal and non-verbal cues are used to establish rapport.
Rapport can be established verbally and non-verbally through pacing and mirroring. Pacing is doing what someone else does in the same way that they do it. Pacing can be verbal or non-verbal, involving conversation, body language, and rhythm to name a few. Mirroring is non-verbal and involves body language, hand gestures, and anything not involving conversation. In this article I will just talk about pacing.
Establishing rapport using pacing can involve figuring out a persons representational system (ie: visual, auditory, kinesthetic) and using this to your advantage. Matching someone’s representational system makes the other person feel as though you are able to easily relate to them.
Another pacing technique involves listening to the other person’s rhythm as they speak. Most people have a natural cadence to their speech. Pay attention to their tempo and see if you can match it. This creates rapport with a natural cadence and flow to the conversation.
Another cue to pay attention to is their tone of voice. Is it high pitched or low pitched? If it is a very distinct pitch, then it is probably not a good idea to match because it could cause the opposite of rapport! If matching their voice tone involves just a slight change in your tone, then try it out. You will be surprised at how easy this technique is.
In order to establish rapport through pacing, you must practice! Give yourself around one week to try these techniques out on friends or strangers. It is a lot of fun to practice at a party. Be patient and practice and you too can master these skills to develop rapport.